On the outside, I appeared as if I had broken the cycle and had it all! Even though, I was successful, associated with successful people, I found myself self-destructive AGAIN, feeling the same low emotions and acting out the same behaviors. The day I was featured on MTV Beach House with Bill Bellamy, was a day I hit rock bottom emotionally and almost took my own life for the second time.

 

It was during this low time I had a breakdown.  All of my childhood trauma's and habitual need to survive, feelings of being unworthy came to the surface.  The pressures of maintaining the persona of "I'm great" was too much to handle.  I decided to sell my fitness business and reinvent myself  again. This time, as a Life Insurance sales agent. 

 

WOW...what a culture shock!  From workout clothes to suits and talking about death put me in a new world. I lost contact with all of my celebrity friends and now associated with financial planners. I did not fit in! One reason I felt that I did not belong was due to many of the most successful people I had met in this new industry of mine where the most unhealthy people I have ever met, Feeling lost, now working at becoming a top producer, I neglected my own health and developed health and mental issues like many of those I followed. 

 

I was fortunate to met Jim Rohn (Tony Robbins mentor).  He pulled me aside and said "In order to change, you have to change". He was not talking about my career this time. Along with Dan Sullivan (The Strategic Coach) and several other high achievers who lived in Sedona, AZ. I eventually stumbled upon my very own Mr. Miyagi's (something I never had before). I began to talk about my emotional triggers that stemmed from my past as a child. They  all showed me how to connect-the-dots between my actions and the subconscious mind.

 

I was shocked to learn, none of these mentors studied sales techniques or business and many, where high school drop-outs. They were hidden billionaires, with trillion dollar minds who had already lived much of their lives.

 

I quickly noticed the contrast between their perception of success Hollywood, corporate, or sales success.  Now, I felt as if I tapped into a new kind of awareness. One that did not focus on a persona of happiness but living it and, I wanted it.

 

What these mentors shared were the things left out of motivation and self-help programs.  They did not package this knowledge or make it easy for me to understand. They directed me to some real soul searching and learning.

 

I ended up diving into Greek philosophy from the 6th century BC. to learn they all studied ancient Egypt, and ancient India Sanskrit and philosophy. This lead me to World Religions and  Mesopotamia knowledge. 

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These mentors knew what is now been most recently discovered! They showed me the people of history like Tesla, Michael Angelo, Isaac Newton, Ben Franklin, Henry Ford, Dale Carnegie, and even Napoleon Hill all dove deep into these teachings,.